Sadly, not mine.Title:
Jokes, Pranks, and ScientistsPairing:
Hell, Rodney had been puce
for heaven’s sake!Notes:
Written for the Urban Legends Slash Challenge
They had been in Atlantis just barely three months when John and Rodney’s snarking took a turn for the insane. Practical jokes had left pudding and broken glass in their wake (which Elizabeth had been so
not happy about) and off-world antics had resulted in Rodney turning puce from hairline to ankles (his feet had mysteriously stayed flesh-toned which had stumped Carson).
By month five of their residence, Elizabeth had discovered the white board in Radek’s personal lab that listed off the pranks and their results and it had taken quite the effort to not snicker at it.
Hell, Rodney had been puce
for heaven’s sake! She also took great amusement in the neon red hair John had sported for several days, though she hadn’t dared comment on it or the missing kool-aid packets.
The board, which had somehow remained a secret from Rodney, survived through the following year. The jokes had tapered off for a time (perhaps neither man could justify humor when the city was recovering from infectious nanites and Wraith attacks and Iratus bugs) but all knew when they started again.
The sign on the door had read “Do not release the scientist. Very, very dangerous. – Sheppard” and no one had actually thought a Kryponite lock was all that stood between McKay and themselves.
Until the pounding and yelling started.
“John, just let him out,” Elizabeth sighed an hour after Rodney had started making his presence known in the supply closet.
“Yeah, about that...” He trailed off, hands going into his pockets and looking for all the world like a scolded child.
“What? Don’t tell me you did something so cliché as to lose the key.”
Sheppard’s ears turned a vibrant red and his cute, hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar look turned even guiltier.
“Oh, god. You didn’t!”
“I’ve got Lorne looking for the bolt cutters and it’s not like he’ll starve or dehydrate with all the stuff in there,” John defended. He hadn’t meant to trick Rodney into the mess’ storage, but he was glad for it now that he was unable to find the key.
“That’s not the point! Our head scientist is locked
in a closet!”
“And he’ll have to come out.”
The mumble was almost inaudible and while Elizabeth had expected some jokes about it because really it was Rodney
in a closet
, she hadn’t expected the almost... longing? sad? ...tone of John’s voice.
But she didn’t have time to question it (she’d do that later) as Lorne returned, devoid of the bolt cutters he’d been sent for.
“Major, you appear to be missing something,” Elizabeth remarked with a single peaked eyebrow.
“Apparently our last set is in three pieces. It’s on the manifest of supplies on the Daedalus, but given that it is still three days from here, I thought we could try the bic pen method.” He added, “But I think you should do it, sir.”
“Great, throw me to the lion.”
Lorne simply shrugged. He wasn’t going to lie and try to dispute it – Sheppard had been the one to lose the key, so he should pay the price for riling the scientist. He made a mental note that of all the people present (Teyla and Ronan were unremarkably silent and Chuck looked like he was trying to keep in his laughter because Rodney hadn’t stopped screaming), there were no members of the science division there.
Clearly they valued their lives.
He handed over the pen, watching as John notched the pen casing with his multi-use tool and pushed it into the keyhole. It popped open with a twist, the door sliding away to reveal one very, very dangerous Rodney McKay, Ph.D.
“You are so dead
, Sheppard,” Rodney intoned, sounding angry than ever before.
He grabbed John by the arm and dragged him away, John begging the whole time for mercy. (“It was a joke, Rodney! It’s funny! I mean I lost the key... It’s like something from a movie!”)
“It’s probably best we let them work this out,” Elizabeth said after the two disappeared into the transporter.
Lorne nodded. “I agree.”